Last week one of my children woke me up in the middle of the night scared of the forest…I kept thinking to myself, what forest could he possibly be talking about? To my surprise, it turns out it was the 100 acre woods in the Winnie the Pooh book that we were reading.

Nighttime fears and nightmares are extremely common in children, especially during the preschool years, but they can definitely occur in older children and adolescents as well. They are part of normal development, as children’s imaginations develop and children begin to understand that there are things that exist that can hurt them. I am not sure how Winnie the Pooh got in to that category, but somehow in my child’s imagination, this “forest” was very scary to him.

There are times that fears and nightmares are the result of a frightening experience, from being scared by a large dog to being in a car accident to watching the news, but other times they seem to come out of the blue. Family conflict and parental anxiety can also play a role. Children also typically have different fears at different developmental stages. Young children are often afraid of monsters and other imaginary creatures, whereas older children are more likely to fear being hurt by more realistic dangers, such as burglars or natural disasters, like hurricanes.

Some children learn that saying they are afraid is an effective stalling tactic or a way to avoid bedtime or a way to creep back to your bed. Some of the best ways to help overcome these fears is to give them alternatives to work with during the night. Like a flashlight that they can use to calm their fears and still remain in their bed. Possibly use a fish tank in the room for light and companionship or having them find comfort in a favorite blanket or stuffed animal. Best result is to try to keep them in their own bed and to start using their ability to comfort themselves so that they learn to work through things. It is best that if needed, you go to their bed instead of them coming in to yours. As many of us know, once your child spends even a short amount of time in your bed, they are very hard to get them back in to their own bed. Another tip is to make their room, their special place, where they feel safe and where they want to spend time. This helps them find comfort in the room and if they do get scared, they know that this is their special spot where nothing can hurt them.